Friday, March 11, 2011

Kinda scary...

Wow, what a night the whole entire earth had. I woke up at 1 am, to turn off the tv, and instead I was greeted with the news of a horrifying earthquake, tsunamis, death and distruction, with more looming in the very near future. I realize that I tend to be excitable, I blow things out of proportion, but I am honest about the sickness I felt when I saw it. A former roommate and very good friend lives in Japan, he and his wife recently had a baby, which on its own is stressful,I can't imagine the terror they all felt. Every ounce of my heart goes out to all the families affected by this tragedy. I did find out that my friend and his family are ok, which is fantastic, but it doesn't lessen the fact that an island the size of California has, in 1 short day, been completely changed. Not that there is a way to stop an earthquake, but one could only wish for a way to make this devestation a little easier on the people involved, that they may find their loved ones, and have the opportunity to rebuild their lives.
It is events like this that make people look inside and take stock in their priorities, or at least that's the way it works for me. I have so many fears for the future of myself and my family. I have spent years letting those fears cripple me against achieving things that I am so capable of. I worry about everything from whether my alarm will go off to whether or not I'm good enough for my own husband and kids. Change is always difficult, and all of my own recent changes become daunting tasks that I will surely never be able to complete, and I get bummed out and act like a big fat spoiled little snot. Seeing what I saw happening in the world made me reflect on just how good I have it, and from now on I'm going to look for the little sunshine spots in my day and make the most of them, and use that energy to realize some of those forgotten dreams. Maybe show the kids that actually LIVING the precious days a person has on this earth, is so much more fulfilling than just being alive. I'm on the right path, I suppose it takes a few wrong turns before you look at the map, and its a map that I have to make myself. I guess I had better invest in some crayons and paper...

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