I have never in my life felt like such crap. Over the last few weeks I have had this crazy lung thing going on, and I can't believe how rundown I feel. I just today, worked out for the first time in a couple weeks, and I made it less than 20 minutes. That sucks bad dude... (I miss Wyatt, borrowed dude from him.) I am, as of this morning, 8lbs heavier than I was a few weeks ago, and I had already plateaued there. I kind of feel like I gave up hope altogether. Ok, not really, I just let the ship take on a little water, and it is all centered in the front... Only 8lbs and I feel sick about myself! Fact is I would love to go workout, and have that precious hour to myself, but I can't breathe, it hurts so bad, especially when I'm tired!!! This infection crap is for the birds, and I feel bad because I simply don't have the energy to do all the things that I would like to do, I mean John is officially home! I would love nothing more than to make the house nice, and make dinners nice, and just make it peaceful while he settles into home life, but I just feel shitty. (yes Mom, I am calling the doc on monday!) Wyatt got this garbage too, but he ended up in the hospital, and not here, with me, where I am comfortable, and I can see him, and snuggle him, but with his dad who is 5 hours away. Don't get me wrong, he couldn't be in better hands, that's not the issue. The issue is that I can't be there with my baby, when he needs me. Imagine my surprise when I found out he has asthma, and that was the real problem... How in the hell did I not know this??? I mean, I'm with him all the time, you would think that by 9 years old I would have seen some sign that he may have it. You would think that I would not be so selfish as to ignore the one thing about my amazing boy that really needed attention, especially since his step-brother has asthma, and I know what to look for with him! I really don't know how I missed it, but I will spend my life making up for it. He is so amazing, and I hope this is the only time I have to worry this way! His dad was awesome about it too, kept me informed, sent pics, and even had the doc call me to keep me accurately updated. I couldn't be more thankful that Wyatt's dad and I have been able to maintain a healthy relationship. At any rate, the little guy is fine, still some issues to deal with, but collectively we will all make sure he is fine!!! Hooray big people!
Have I ever mentioned that I have a wonderful husband? Why, yes sir (or ma'am, calm down feminist) I have this wonderful husband, and as of tomorrow, he will have been my husband for one whole year!!!! (gasp! cough!wheeze... just this lung thing, calm down!) He has really made me feel like a lucky woman. He gets me, we get eachother, which, to be honest is a little scary seeing as how neither one of us is balanced in the least! We laugh at eachother, we fight with eachother, and we just take care of eachother. We have found a way to meet in the middle, even though in a lot of ways we are so vastly different. We have found ways to support eachother, even when we weren't sure how, we have found ways to love eachother when we weren't sure how. We honestly love eachother, in spite of ourselves, and through all that my friends, I have found happiness. In our odd little, definately not normal way, we have found a way to love eachother, (including family and friends!) and i can truly say I'm happy. I write this now, while John is at the gym and I am feeling like shit... Through sickness and in health... Happy 1st Anniversary baby!!!! Thank you for this beautiful, crazy life! I love you!!!!!
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