Day 6: Ugh... Monday

   I have no motivation... It took me so long to fall asleep lastnight, which isn't all that strange, but that's one of the things the doc gave me meds for, and it's not working as well as I would like. I had nightmares when I did sleep, about, of all things, chocolate and fettucini alfredo. Think my body's telling me it misses the indulging, maybe, or maybe it's just me trying to talk myself out of all this. Honestly I wasn't even going to write at all today, but I thought I better, or it's going to look like I'm not doing what I promised to do yesterday. Rest easy friends, I managed to stay on the wagon! I did eat too much yesterday, and I feel super guilty, but it was spagetti, and I made my own sauce, with turkey burger, and I really make the best sauce ever! I used whole grain noodles, and I portioned it, I just ate an extra portion about 2 hours later... DAMN YOU WILL POWER! But the game was good, and the whole day in general was pretty good, I managed to reverse the funk I was in and make it a decent day for all of us.
    Today, on the other hand, I'm not really crabby so much as just completely worn out. I think that the lack of Diet Dr. Pepper is catching up with me. Oh, I didn't mention that? Yeah, I was kind of keeping that as my dirty little secret. I have had a love affair with Diet Dr. Pepper for years. Certainly not a casual affair either, I was drinking between 6 and 10 a day, and probably closer to 10. I should own stock in the company, I could be their marketing director. For example: "I might be a giant chubbo, but with Diet Dr. Pepper in my hand all day, every day, I look like I might just care about looking like I care that I'm a fatty!" Smile and point to can Vanna style. I love how it tastes, I love the carbonation, I love it all, and in all honesty, if I could, yeah, I would marry it! ha ha!  Soooo I have to be honest I have not quit drinking it, but I have cut back drastically in the last few days. I'm down to 2 or 3 a day, which is so unheard of. I started the first day by getting a can and a bottle of water at the same time, and I would chug the whole bottle so that I wasn't as thirsty, and it worked. For me to cut down on soda is nothing short of a small miracle, but I'm feeling the effects, headache, draggy, blech. I'll complain and tough it out, because I know that I need to not drink so much soda, I know this. I actually heard something that made sense, that when you drink diet soda, your body thinks that it's getting sugar, but it doesn't get the sugar, so you crave it. Since I have cut back, I'm finding that I don't crave chocolate and carbs so much, but I did drink one before bed, which might explain the dreams....
   I got a call from the doctor's office today to talk about blood test results, and my thyroid is good! Hooray! I thought for sure that it wasn't going to be good news, not that it would be that big a deal to take a pill, but I really don't feel like piling another issue on top of all the crap I'm trying to fix right now. I do have to take vitamin D, 50,000 units a week for 8 weeks, then get that tested again. What I didn't know is that vitamin D levels can contribute to depression, makes sense, and many other issues, such as aches and pains and sleep loss, not to mention the ever looming osteoperosis monster!!! Taking a vitamin is no big deal, and I'm happy to do it, shoulda thought of that sooner!
   It is Monday, Meatless Monday as a matter of fact, you know, the one that I promised to participate in just last week.  I can't lie, I forgot.  Sometimes I need to think things through before I open my big dumb mouth!!! How in the world do you fall off the wagon before you even climb on?  Well you hang out with me, that's how, I'm a bad influence! I guess this week it's going to be meatless Tuesday for me!  And in my draggy, feeling sorry for myself day, I have found myself having thoughts of giving up altogether, I have not done anything even resembling exercise today, but I do have some hours left, and I really need to get moving. I know this. So I suppose I'll go wash some clothes and go up and down the stairs a few times.
   Oh, I forgot to mention I had a really interesting visit this morning. The woman who used to live in my house stopped by, and got the pleasure of seeing it in all of it's 8:30 am messy glory! (me too!) We had a really great talk, and she is a really, really nice person, who in her own way is facing a lot of the same kind of emotional stuff I am. I really enjoyed talking to her, I'm glad that fed-ex package was delivered here, because it felt nice to talk to someone and really relate. Who knows, maybe I made a friend! (A friend in Billings... I'll be damned...)  Ok, I have things to accomplish, and not a lot of time!