I decided to spend the last few days with my family. John left this morning, and I really just wanted to try to enjoy that time, unlike the last few times when I was more depressed, and the last few days were always filled with me being super-bitch because I resented the fact that I am with the kids alone. Yep, that's really fair. The worst part is that I would be a jerk to him, be angry, and have no clue why! That seems like a good basis for a healthy relationship, but I guess changing is going to take all parts of myself, good and bad! I spent so much time worrying about myself, that I couldn't see those last couple days are just as hard on him, and I was only making it worse for both of us. The difference this time is that my head is on a little straighter this time. We had a really wonderful time, we went bowling, we ate pizza, and ice cream, and threw all caution to the wind, and it was really great. I think that while he was home this timewe found something healthy to do together, and the combination of that, mixed with the fact that I now have something constructive to look foward to that occurs outside of the house, and sans kids, really improved my overall demeanor. Don't be fooled by the man behind the curtain though, I have a lot of personality to improve upon. I'm only saying it was easier to cope this time, hopefully there will be a vast improvement for the next time he's home, so that all can be wonderful. He's very patient with me, and I don't always deserve it, but he is just awesome!
Tomorrow I go see my trainer, but I managed to skip the last couple days to spend time with the fam, and I ate like a pig, and I have been sitting around all day trying to figure out a way to go to the gym tonight, or at least have a good excuse for not going... I'm so lame I just can't! So on that note, I'm going to bed. I know this is short, but for the next month I don't have a computer, so the phone is my communication tool! Hooray technology!
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