Part of my own personal curse is this feeling that I am really only as good as the job that I do, and I must exhude that same feeling, because I can't seem to get ahead. The job that I have now is really great, I enjoy it, I like the people I work with, and I make less money than anyone there, in spite of the fact that I work just as hard, take whatever shifts I have to, my sales are really good, and yet I haven't seen any chance to move up, even though I have expressed that. I was gone for a couple weeks because of my little mental setback, but they welcomed me back with open arms. It was great. Of course I'm not getting a raise, now I'm not sure that anyone even takes me seriously. I would love to stay at this job, but since I was hospitalized my priorities have shifted a little. It's not really that I want to quit, and have to go out and find a new job and start all over again, I just feel sort of stupid for hanging on the way that I have. I was under the impression that the job I have now would be very temporary, then I would have the opportunity to move up. Everyone else at that same meeting has either moved up or quit. I feel like a damned doormat. My wonderful husband sees that I'm not as happy with it as I was before. He's my biggest supporter, and tells me that if I am not happy I should leave, he's even given me an application for a different job, where I would be happy for sure, but I'm holding back on it because I don't want anyone at my current job to be mad at me for leaving. I'm so torn, I really have no idea what to do. I don't know what to do, I know I can make more money somewhere, but how do I leave when maybe there might be a chance that at some time in the future I might have the opportunity to do something more than what I'm doing now.... God I sound like an idiot. Most people would have (and already have) left, I just really have a fear of hurting someones feelings, or disappointing anyone, leaving me wide open for hurt feelings and disappointment. Well, for today anyway, I'm going to go, I'm going to do my best, just like every other day, and maybe I'll make a decision later.... it's so effed in the a.
On that happy note, my friend Stacy came to town to see me, and it was really great to have someone else around, it's good to have friends like her. Her daughter is beautiful and getting so big. It was really fun to see her with Logan, they played really well together. (oooooh is there a future there???? I don't knoooooow) ha ha. See there is always something to laugh about!
No comments:
Post a Comment