Thursday, December 8, 2011

There are no words...

So for the most part today was like any other day, get up, get kids ready, hang out for a while, go to work, come home from work, get the update about the boys, blah, blah, blah.... Wyatt was kind of a turkey after school, nothing different from any other day, but then my sister tells me a story that Wyatt didn't tell me. At recess today, Wyatt and 2 of his friends were walking around the playground, and they found a boy in their class on the monkeybars intentionally trying to hang himself. Don't worry about picking your jaw up, I'm still trying to scoop mine up. They helped this boy down, and told the teacher, who for some strange reason let the little boy go back to recess. Wyatt told me that he talked to this boy and told him that he has a little sister that looks up to him, and a new baby brother. This little boy told Wyatt that he did it because no one likes him. Wyatt said that he thought about me and how scared he was when I broke down, and that he didn't want anyone to feel like that. Wyatt is only 10, and that little boy is 9. My heart is so filled with pride that my son is so amazing, and so much anguish for what that little boy must be going through. There are a thousand questions running through my mind, and so much guilt for my own mistakes that Wyatt had to go through only recently. I spend everyday lately worried about money, worried about food, and gas and rent, and I have not even considered until now, the impact that something like this has on a kid. He is my hero, he is amazing, how many 10 year old would have the ability to comprehend any of what happened today. I also feel so sick that he had to have that experience, that's traumatic, and possibly life changing, and he has already been through so much the last couple years. Wow, I know that I'm rambling, but there are so many things racing through my mind right now that I can't really seem to settle myself. NO kid should ever have to feel the kind of pain that the little boy Wyatt helped is feeling. I've felt that, but as an adult, and at least I have the maturity to process it. I have to wonder what happens in his home, I have to think that maybe his family chooses to ignore the things in his life that have pushed him this far. I'm sure that the boy has some mental issues that, if they are being dealt with, are not being taken as seriously as they should be. Tomorrow I'm calling the school, and I'm going to have Wyatt talk to the counselor, I've been meaning to get him into therapy anyway, but now I realize the urgency. I am so filled with admiration for my own son that I can't even put it into words. He can't sleep because he says he keeps seeing the boy hanging there, and I can't blame him, that's a lot for a little boy to take in. Tonight there really isn't anything I can do, more than just be there for him, and tomorrow I will have the time to take the proper steps to help him understand his emotions right now. Tomorrow is a new day, and I'll do what I can then. I can tell you one thing, it has made me see just how trivial all the crap we've been going through really is. I have my babies, I have my family, and the rest is just details. I could not possibly be more blessed.

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