Ok, I know that I've mentioned I'm a tv addict, more specifically a reality tv addict. (Curse you VH1) The one thing that I really love is any show about cooking, which, as you might guess, doesn't mesh well when I'm trying to lose weight. I think maybe I like the torture, who knows, and who would have thought that watching Top Chef would help me find some inspiration related to all of my new goals? I stayed up late to watch it, and was very disappointed when one of my favorite chefs was eliminated. Fabio, the adorable italian chef with a sparkling personality is no longer on the show, and I'm sad. Sure, I feel like there are more capable chefs on the show, but he's such a positive, fun personality to watch, the show just won't be the same without him. He's that guy that, if you worked with him, you would hope to work with everyday. What's interesting is that he was eliminated, and still very positive, very happy with his life, ready to go back and make the most of his second Top Chef experience. At the very end of the show, in his exit interview he said something in that thick, beautiful italian accent that really resonated with me. He said "You are the only shadow in your own sunlight." Wow, that one line hit me like a ton of bricks. What a simple yet beautiful sentiment, and how deeply it applies to absolutely everything that I'm trying to do right now. I want so badly to reach these seemingly lofty goals, and the only person that will stop me from doing anything is me, that little voice that says "it's never going to happen, just give up..." when really it should be saying "wake up fool!!! You have shit to do, now get up and do it, and stop complaining, you don't even know how good you have it!!!!" That one line really made me look deep inside myself, and reach for the little positive voice in there, so that I can feed it and grow it with all the good things and positive thoughts I can dig up, and push that little negative voice back into the dark recesses where it belongs. I have every opportunity I could ever want open to me right now, and I'm certainly not going to gain anything my sitting on my ass, feeling sorry for myself!
That brings me to my next thought, here it is, day 16 and I'm only down 10 lbs... wanna know why??? I don't move enough!!! All that initial loss was the easy "cut back on everything weight" now I have to worry about the actual fat. In the past I haven't had too much trouble losing weight without trying, because I've had jobs that required me to move pretty much the whole time I was there. I don't have that now, and it has become very easy to sit and play, sit and watch tv, sit and sit and sit... it's probably a wonder that my legs even work. The pedometer definately helps, but even with that in mind, it's lost it's lustre, and now it's just another part of my clothing, that gets in the way when I try to get into my pocket. I'm up to over 5000 steps a day, but that's only halfway there. I, for some reason, just haven't felt all that motivated, take right now for instance. My mom is on her way, and instead of doing all the things I should be, I'm sitting here writing, because it's a good distraction. I know this, I'm aware of this, and yet I'm still doing it!!! So, keeping Fabio's statement in mind, I'm going to sign off, and get moving. I need to get ready to see my mommy!!!
hi mom .
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