I suppose before I say anything I had better tell you all Happy Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day is a day that, for most of my time on earth, I would be just as happy sleeping through. A day where parents compete to send the best treats to school, and shoe boxes are carried around as if they are a badge of honor. A day that the little girls look forward to, and the little boys say they dread, but secretly they can't wait to see how much crap they get. A day that for the majority of my life I was just fine with ignoring, mostly because I was always ignored. I always felt like it shouldn't matter at all, because it was just a ploy to get folks to spend money on dumb love themed shit, that I would never recieve. I did feel that way, that is until I met this wonderful man 3 years ago, and he showed me that it's not so much about the cards, or the stuffed animals, it's about showing that special person that they really are special, whether it be a signifigant other, or kids, or even parents. John has this knack for making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the universe, and he does it everyday, not just Valentine's Day. I swear, whenever an occasion comes up he is the most thoughtful person ever, not like me, if I don't have the gift spelled out for me, I will totally disappoint. I'm really bad at this game, and bless his heart, he puts up with me! I can honestly say that I'm ok with him not being here for Valentine's, because I know in one week he will be home and I get to be with him... Oh man I miss him when he's gone, I really do think that he's my other half, and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I don't need Valentine's Day for that! My kids gave me some tulips, and that made me feel really good! It's amazing how much better days like this are, now that my whole outlook has changed, and I really believe that they can only continue to get better!
I'm sitting here watching the kids play quietly, and I actually have tears in my eyes. I am so sorry to them that it took me so long to realize just how good my life really is, they definately suffered while I did. Depression is so much worse than I could have ever imagined, I was so miserable that it was amazing that I could even function. Now I feel like a brand new person, like I can face anything that comes my way. I have a lot of work to do, I'm sure of that, but at the moment, I could not be happier! If I hadn't found John, I would be a total train wreck, and I wouldn't have all 3 of these amazing boys! I can't believe that I was sad when I had all of these wonderful things to look forward to! The whole point today, I suppose, is whether it's a holiday or not, I promise to always try to find the good in each day, and work to be a happier person, so that I can be worthy of this wonderful family that I am so blessed to have!
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